day 236 – fear
What?? Whoa – me?? Thankful for fear… no way. Okay, well, yes, maybe… – you see I am taking an on-line course with Brené Brown – yes I kind of worship her – but at this moment I don’t like her very much. You see today’s assignment was to write the text “I’m imperfect and I’m enough” on our hand, in Sharpie no less, and take a self portrait to put in our journals. I have to admit, I really don’t like this picture of myself (if you haven’t noticed there is rarely a glimpse of me on this blog), but it was the best one out of the 20 or so pictures that were taken. And yes, I also have to admit I even tweaked this a bit in photoshop – no, you say!! – yes… yes I did… (my nose can tend to look very long and witch like in certain photos – and this is touched up you say?!!).
Furthermore, being an artist I am very unhappy with my handwriting (when using Sharpie on skin… well, hard to re-do). So here I am – struggling with this assignment, I have a million things on my plate, and I still have to write this blog, or at least post a picture. Petrified and exhausted – I just want to go to bed and get some rest. So I am posting my assignment partly to get things done, partly to face my fear and partly to say, “okay Brené – really, I thought this was supposed to be fun…”
It has been more than a challenging year- In her book The Gifts of Imperfection Brené lists ten “unraveling journeys” such as midlife and divorce that we can go through. I have been through 5 of the 10 in the past year and some of them multiple times…! But, I suppose I have faced many fears and am coming out stronger in the end.
“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”
― Brené Brown